15-Aug-2011 I have lived over half of my life
Its funny but the Guardian newspaper has far and away the best articles of any newspaper in the world.
This article really hit home – I have lived over half of my life – and clearly touches a nerve I have been thinking about for a long time:
You grow up with the sense that the best years are ahead of you, and in your mid-40s that becomes questionable. You wonder whether you’ve peaked on all sorts of levels.
and also:
What do I want my midlife to be like? What about the rest of my life, that diminishing resource? I try to think, but I’m so often distracted: by working to deadlines, by going out, but especially by my children. They are young, so they are fun but relentless. That unremitting routine that kids need: up at the same time, bed at the same time, breakfast, dinner, tea, every day every day. It makes life pass so quickly, and that makes me panic.
I don’t want to wake up in 10 years’ time, when I’m 54, and feel the same way I do now. I’m scared of that. I’m frightened. Because I only have 20 years of working life left, and I have to combine those years with bringing up my kids. There is no way I can achieve what I want. Whatever that is (I don’t know).