Kevin Tiller

First things first – I am planning on doing the Kj 5km uphill run on Saturday. It has a good vibe. not sure how well I will run but am currently bein psycho about running everyday, and am generally getting a lot faster, but some days more tired also. obviously been sleeping heaps more, hence no work on anything like Coolrunning or Sixfoot.

looks like I might even make my estimated goal for the year, 1800km – approx 5.5km per day every day average. this would be the best year in 5 years.

i used to like the analogy (as I am not religious) that I went running everyday, but a race was like a festival – a bit like going to church on sunday. to carry the analogy further though, I have become like a hermit who sits in a cave for 7 years, meditating – I am communing with my inner self (and running) but don’t need anyone to validate it, I don’t even need to run a race and get a time to prove anything. fake plastic trees eloquently wrote:

It sums it up real good.

there is some good discussion about whether coolrunning is becoming lame or not. I think people feel so passionately because they care which is a great thing, but I am beginning to think that there are people on one side pulling, and people the other pulling, and the moderators are stuck in the middle copping flack from both sides. next week it will be different different argument with different people but the result will be the same. I think people like arguing for the sake of it, like that is THE POINT. Maybe because its written down, people can analyse the shit out of it, but in real conversation you don’t.

bob dylan once said : “A lot of people don’t have much food on their table, But they got a lot of forks n’ knives, And they gotta cut somethin“.

I could reword that to “A lot of people got a lot of time on their hands, but they got mice, keyboards & screens, and they gotta chat about somethin”

I feel like walking away from it all – its just negative – nip nip nip, whine whine whine. putting their energy into something, anything would be so much better. and it’s dragging me down – that’s the worst – I am wasting my time on this when I could be doing something constructive that I enjoy, like putting on 6ft (or even … gasp … some of my new projectS)

I am enjoying the slower pace of life, and am really noticing some odd things, like the tides and the moon, and how the same beach and have vastly different markings, dunes etc after different tides. Going for walks and then coming home in the dark and preparing food and going to bed has made me realise that for all our mod-cons we often loose the sense of family – because we CAN all work separately at any time, doesn’t mean we SHOULD. Places in the 3rd world, when it gets dark, people gather for food and then spend time together before going to bed (instead of eating separately, working and wasting all that energy) – it makes more sense.

I have also seen mention of third world clothes make sense – a dhoti or a sari (obviously) can be worn until it wears out and if you get fatter or thinner, its not a problem its easy to adjust, unlike jeans where people have a fat size, a thin size and another size in between. Its like if you slow down you can see some of this stuff, how people think our society is so good because we have stuff and in reality its just bollocks.

On other things I am reading the pillars of the earth a book I swapped with a coolrunner in canberra. a bit of light reading but its good. I am slowly going thru the do website :
The idea is a simple one. That people who Do things, can inspire the rest of us to go and Do things too. So each year, we invite a set of people down here to come and tell us what they Do. They can be small Do’s or big Do’s or just plain amazing extraordinary Do’s. But when you listen to their stories, they just light a fire in your belly to go and Do your thing, your passion, the thing that sits in the back your head each day, just waiting, and waiting for you to follow your heart. To go find your cause to fight for, your company to go start, your invention to invent, your book to write, your mountain to climb. The one thing the Doers of the world Do, apart from Do amazing things, is to inspire the rest of us to go and Do amazing things.

Muscially I am regressing thru my mp3 archives, visage in french, placebo in acoustic, ziggy stardust, martyr mantras, bright eyes, and a bunch in between.

As this was posted to my old blog on coolrunning, it had these comments attached :

By Kathmandu: Hey Kev, Nice entry. I like the bit about noticing the tides and the moon and the beach markings. Too easy to get caught up in the negatives and the conflicts of life, which in the whole scheme of life arent all that relevant. I enjoy your blog.  Cheers.

By Tim: Kev I really like where you are headed.  I often find myself thinking on the same lines.  i love running and have been wondering about the need for validation.  i use to crave the attention races gave me.  To come back and read threads where everyone watched my progress it was a buzz.  But now I am starting to realise that it is the everyday run that gives me the most pleasure.  The one where I head out and no one knows I have gone.  Sometimes I just stop at the river and watch the world.  I do not care about time or tempo, i can stop if I wish.  Then when it is time I start to run again.  I have been struggling with this injury forever and I think it is the need to run to a schedule, to be ready for a big race that has made me run longer, harder, more often then my body wanted.  I should have stopped.  i should have listened.  All the signs were there. I also see where you are re CR.  i am finding myself feeling angry more often then not lately.  It sucks your energy out.  There are too many cool things to do in life.  there is no room for energy sucks. we need to have a BBQ down your place soon.  Vegan runners talking vegan eco shit and eating vegie sausages sounds perfect.

By 20th/centuryBoy: I’m reading The Pillars of the Earth on the train to work. There’s a sequel as well if you can’t get enough of them thar 12th century shenanigans!

By Plu: “we need to have a BBQ down your place soon.” ….and check out the “string trail” and other projects – will you allow non vegans  trying to cut back on meat?

By RachinAus: I’m a bit of a newbie to the running scene and CR and it has been interesting to watch some of the threads develop over the months. Mostly I enjoy it and sometimes I think poeple just say things to be provocative. The world is full of poeple who need external validation. I just read Affluenza by Oliver James which touches on peoples need for external validation – as well as a need to validate through the possession of objects….a common contemporary struggle I think for lots of human beings. Personally I’m grateful you have had the energy to maintain this site for the huge benefit it gives loads fo people – from the need to feel like they belong to something to the need for a bit of sensible advice on running. I think as you get older you are more able to find satisfaction internally and start worrying less about what others think – in all aspects of life….as I build up a history of running (albeit a recent one) it is starting to give me more satisfaction than running better races. Cheers

By John Stevens: I don’t have the words for a sensible comment right now.  Not enough sleep, achilles hurting 24/7, etc.  RE- CR – and the “Lameness” of it all.  It just isn’t your fault how ppl are thinking, ever.  And they are out there, thinking, posting, all for their own little reasons.  I’m thinking you are right – some comment just because it’s there, and they can comment.  Other ppl are passionate, but still posting from opposite ends of the spectrum = conflict.  Just apply a language filter, and let the rest happen, I think… Pity the whole lot can’t go unmoderated, really.   
Re- the validation ppl seek thru the CR Board – I notice it now, bigtime, cf. the old days of Mr G, Phantom Strider, Uncle Dave etc.  But, that’s the community out there, currently using the Board to communicate.  Again, it just is.
Glad you are happy, RUNNING (!), Do-ing what you want, more of the time.
Re- Tim and Plu – I think an Un-race in your quarter, and a BBQ, would be a lovely thing to do.  And you could time it with the co-oping of ppl for the menial little jobs for 6FT :-).
Cheers, Di.

By Colsy: Kev, cant you take a break from it, handball it to someone else for a solid month? It’ll still be here when you get back. It must be tough, whenever there is conflict on the board I always think of what it must be like for you. That doesnt seem to stop me from, sometimes, being one of those Nip Nip Whiners though. After I read your blog entries I always try to make an effort to contribute more and stir less. I appreciate what you do.

By Fred: just put some stiff little fingers on and bop around the lounge room 
I really love CR and am grateful to you for creating it, as are many many around us.
Lets just enjoy the good stuff.  There is so much of it.